By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
