It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
she peed on how many people?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Randomize
