toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize
