discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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