No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Randomize
