You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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