It's like a parade of train wrecks.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
