ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
