I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Randomize
