It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
