I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
