With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
