You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
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