y did u give ur computer a hand job?
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
