You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
