i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
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