so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
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