Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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