2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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