Tell her she can't have a vagina
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize