Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
