Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize