Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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