is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
