dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Randomize