And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Randomize
