some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
