i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
