I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
