69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Randomize
