dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
i would punch a child for taco bell
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
