no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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