"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
