I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
