so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
