She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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