she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
