why didn't you poke me back
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
