dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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