she was so not down for the gang bang
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
