That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
