ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
