if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I love you. Go after that dick
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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