Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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