I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Randomize
