You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
