i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
worst night to have a conscience
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize