My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
