well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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