i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
he high fived his dick after we had sex
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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