how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize