they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
