nut hugger
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize