When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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