THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
