Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
