yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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