Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
