yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
