So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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