dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
