The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
