dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
