I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Vodka?
Forever.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
