To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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