The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
